Random Thought #1:  A well-thought-out name makes all the difference. Take 'blunderbuss' for example. It's fun to say but does not inspire user confidence. That is due to the presence of the word 'blunder' in it. Now, a pilot of an A-10 Tank Killer is certain he'll do some damage on his next air strike. A fellow donning a bulletproof vest has that added level of security. You pick up a screwdriver you're feeling damn sure you'll be driving some screws. However, if you're purchasing a robotic nanny, the Inept5000™ probably will make you cringe. And you would most likely regret bringing that kid 'Charlie the human diarrhea'© with you on that long road trip. Moral? Pay attention to the nuances in a name; they may save you a lot of grief and/or time otherwise spent upholstery-scrubbing in the backseat.

Random Thought #2:  It should be a daily given that people have moments of paralysis where they are just flummoxed by mind boggling concepts like black holes. I mean, c'mon. Gravity so strong even light can't escape?! That's ludicrous! (or "ludacrithp" as Mike Tyson might say) Light is something people take for granted and assume as instantaneous. To quantize it, put a finite limit to its speed, and then to say it is not fast enough to escape the grasp of these singular points in space? Or to ponder that some starlight, which did make it to our night sky and we are now seeing, was generated by a celestial body that died millions of years ago? What the heck is that!!? But I suppose that time is better spent discussing mergers & acquisitions and who will get more more money Britney or Kevin.

Random Thought #3:  I'm here to foist my intelligence upon you!! E=mc². Vermeer. El Greco. Counterpoint. Resonance. What light from yonder window breaks. Here me speak of plan aria. Floating Point Units. Compton Effect. Ohm's Law. I will crush you with my knowledge of the fibula! Convert atmospheres to millimeters of Mercury 'til you beg for mercy. Oedipus complex. Osmosis. Solve the NJ property Indiana toll road  dilemma. Parles-tu français? Detail a 4-cycle engine until I'm blue in the face behind my windshield. Yet you STILL can't figure out how to merge on a roadway!!!

Random Thought #4:  When I sprint up or down stairs I have an inherent fear I will slip and fall face first into the metal armrails, impaling my eyeball. I've envisioned it many times and it makes me queasy just writing about it. True, I can be a bit of a klutz, though I don't think nearly to that extent. So why does this thought occupy my brain? I suspect I must have an underlying fear of blindness. Which would also explain why I'm always cold-cocking those visually-impaired gents with the seeing eye dogs.

Random Thought #5:  Exercise extreme caution experimenting with ice cream sodas and floats otherwise you run the risk of concocting an abomination. Just a few examples not to try are: cherry coke with strawberry glace*, Surge with anything, ginger ale with anything save possibly cinnamon glace, apple or cranberry soda with chocolate glace (which does go well with regular cola, as does coffee glace), the list goes on and on. Hey, it's a gamble unlike picking this year's NCAA champs which I could've told you last July.

*ice cream. (saved typing)

Random Thought #6:  Remember those temperature-sensitive, color-changing t-shirts (Hypercolor™)?Why the hell doesn't Hasbro license a company to produce Transformer logoed t-shirts where the autobot/decepticon sign would change color? It'd be like walking around with your very own rub-off sign^© on your chest.

Random Thought #7:  People sometimes refer to ex's as "old flames". Well, TV show people do anyway. I read soemthing that got me wondering, "cavemen didn't know about fire let alone flames so how did they refer to their ex's"? My guess is "dinner" as they probably ate their former partners. Not sure if the cannibalism caused the breakup or vice versa. Ideas?

Random Thought #8:  Remember, if you value your movie watching experience, do not read a Time magazine review of the film beforehand!! It can lead only to surprise spoilers and misery. 1940s cinema-goers ready to paint the town red during that trying era, on their way out the door to the moving pictures show, probably glanced in their mailboxes only to be greeted with the blaring headline "Rosebud was his sled!". As the saying goes, Time waits for no Man (to first watch a movie before ruining key parts).

Random Thought #9:  If a guy calls a woman a ''ho'' or refers to her ''jugs'' or her ''can'', chances are he's a closet farmer. Also check if his boots are coated in manure. In this 2nd instance, if he's NOT a farmer then good golly what the heck is he doing!!?

Random Thought #10:  Do kids actually say to themselves, "when I grow up I wanna be paparazzo"? These paparazzi swarm like roaches. Where do they come from?