Another day, another text message.

So, have you been behaving yourselves in my absence? I've heard...some things. And to be honest, they've not been very good. I'm beginning to think you've no ablility to live decently without me. You've been filled with sadness and loneliness for me, haven't you? And it's prompted you to act out in destructive ways, hasn't it. You're cutting yourself again, aren't you. No? Sorry, I've been misinformed. Goddamned unreliable myspacers.

It's Saturday and I can't think of anything to write except for the post I just deleted. I blame this turn of events on a few things, chief among them the fact that my stupid lungs are being stupid and will probably stupidly turn into a stupid case of SARS and right now I'm high on cough syrup and Dayquil, I can barely keep my eyes open, and I am filled with crippling self-doubt, unrelated to the bronchitis but bothersome nonetheless. And I'm pissed off.

Nevermind that.

Did you know that some of the days of our week are named after Viking gods and goddesses? For example, Thursday is "Thor's Day," and Friday is named after Odin's (who is sometimes known as "Woden," where we get Wednesday from - Woden's Day) wife Frigga. Frigga's Day. Frigga is probably the coolest name a goddess could have. Frigga me? FRIGGA YOU.

Also, did you know that actually Vikings did not have horns on their helmets? Which means, of course, that Dik Brown of Hagar the Horrible (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A4gar_the_Horrible ----> I love you Wikipedia!!! *bows to the keyboard*) fame was a dirty liar who perpetuated evil Viking stereotypes. My poor people!!

I wish I was of Viking descent. My ancestors were running half-naked through the eastern forest throwing sticks and smoking peace pipes when these people - these iron-blooded brutes- heartily pillaged England with swords of mass destruction all the while towing kegs of mead. Instead of inheriting vivacious blue eyes and silky blonde hair, I'm left with annoyingly high cheek bones, a deep-rooted suspicion of white men, (hahaha kidding) a tendancy to yell savagely, and an intolerace of alcohol. (sad but ture)

And I can track a wild buffalo for forty days without sleep!!!

Not to totally wear out this whole Viking thing, but did you know that we still use Viking words today? Words such as "hell," and "law," and "berserk*," and "wine." You could make a really cool sentence with these Viking words. Like..."If I ever have to endure the hell that is law school, I'd have to be drunk on wine all the time and I'd probably end up going berserk."

*"Berserk" technically means "without shirt," which is how those crazy fuckers known as "berserkers" fought. Shirtless Scandinavian men.

Hmm...