I've had a lot of stupid fights in my time. Yesterday I had a fight about porcelain veneers with a friend of mine which degraded me into mocking the dental (for lack of a better word) education of my friend's family dentist while trying to argue that In Style magazine knows more about porcelin veneers than an actual dentist does BECAUSE it's In Style Magazine.  It was a crowing moment in pointless argumetns. (A pointless argument that I won, by the way) 

It  was one of those fights where you step back in the middle of it and think, "Gosh! I'm fighting about teeth" and on the one hand you realize how damn STUPID that is.  And you can't stop arguing because you know how damn right you are!!! And on the OTHER hand, you feel so passionate about the plight of pircelain veneers you can't let it go.

My friend and I are pretty tight, so we manage to have more pointless arguements per sqare foot than most life long friends could manage. 

The main characteristic we demand from a fight is that it MUST be about something stupuid. Most people fight about issuse and important  ideas, we fight about those sombros Mexican restuaraunts make you wear when it's your birthday. You know, the ones they humilatingly jam on your head as they sing and dance and clap like fools and make you burn bright with anger because of your friends who disobeyed your very specific order NOT to tell the waitress it's your birtday because you don't want a damn picture of yourself wearing one of those stupid hats. (By the way, my birthday is on Cince de Mayo so my friends find it "fitting" to take me to a damn Mexican resturaunt every year)

So, we fought about sombreros one time, but it's not what you think. It wasn't about someone not listening to instructions about telling the waitress it's someone else's birthday, it was about the proper pronuncuation of "sombrero" (it's NOT "so-Mbray-RO," by the way).

Our very best argument ever was about arguing. i told my friend that we fought all the time about stupid things and he said, "No we don't." And I said, "Yes, remember that time we fought about Mardi Gras beads?" He insisted that "NO, WE DIDN'T!!!" I got really frustrated. 

Actually, we fight about word pronunciation all the time. One time I pronounced "envoy" as  "AHN-voy" and he jumped in my case stating that I was "so dumb," and then tried to school me that it was actually ONLY pronounced and "EHN-voy." THAT brawl ended up with me going to webster.com at three in the morning to prove that AHN-voy is indeed an accepted pronunciation.  I didn't care that he was asleep. I tunred up the computer speakers and hit the pronunciation thingy over and over 
- "AHN-voy. AHN-voy. AHN-voy. AHN-voy."

Don't EVEN get me started on the word "ogle," which my friend insists is pronounced "OOO-gle," which it is SO NOT. "OH-gle" or "AH-gle?" Sure. But "OOO-gle?" Get out of my face with that noise.