Would you like some cornflakes?

There are a lot of questions in life that we may never know the answers to:

Why am I here?

Will I go to Heaven?

What is the meaning of life?

Michael Jackson... why!?

Will I ever be happy?

How will I die?

What is my purpose?

Why me?

With these and many other serious questions surrounding us all, there are many unanswered matters in our everyday lives.

Few things in life are 100% certain except that one day we will all die, taxes will come, and the country's deficit will most certainly continue to grow under Bush's -umm- command.

There is however, one serious question that I do know the answer to with 100% certainty. I am proud to report that without a single doubt, with complete certainty, I can say...

...

I am NOT the father of Anna Nicole's Baby! Of this.....I am certain.

Seriously!!! How can something SO DAMN STUPID get so much damn publicity!! I'm sick of it!!! Talk about something important! Sheesh!!