Would you like some cornflakes?

On the way home from town today, my usual fear of suburban cell-phoning housewives driving SUVs  was increased seven-fold. As I stoped at a light, I happened to look in my rear view mirror and see the lady in the SUV behind me talking on the phone.

I say "talking" but that is not exactly correct. It was more like "ripping-someone -a-new-one" on the phone. I can't lip read or anything but, trust me, I didn't need to. This woman was flipping her head and yelling (I'm assuming she doesn't always open her mouth that wide when "talking") and hand gesturing like Helen Keller on speed. Apparently the poor rip-ee on the other end kept hanging up on her because every so often she would take the phone off her head, push a couple of buttons, put it back up to her head then commence yelling again.

I was completely paranoid that she was going to ram into me a -well- ramming speed since she was so preoccupied with her tirade I'm pretty certain she only had approximately 2% of brain power left to actually control her ten tons of motor vehicle.

So I did what I think any red-blooded American would do in this situation.

I pulled into McDonald's and got a Happy Meal.

Someone had to.