So here's the thing: I want to become a Spartan. Not so much for the whole "self-denial, simplicity, frugality, and avoidance of luxury and comfort" thing (doesn't sound fun to me; am all about fun and shit) but because of the asskicking and this:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/300/trailer1/ (sorry the link thingy is being a pain and I'm too lazy to work with it)

Holy cow!!! Are you effing with me!! YESSSS!! Never has a movie trailer made me want to fly through the air with a spear or ride a rhino more than this trailer. I want to shoot seventeen arrows into people's eyeballs right now, at home, just because they dare to cross me at the DVD player. I want that Nine Inch Nails song from the trailer to play constantly as my personal soundtrack when I go around stapling people's balls to their lips. "Our staples will blot out the sun!" "Then I will collate in the shade!"

Before my life is over I will, guaranteed, kick someone in the chest and down a well whilst yelling, "MADNESS? THIS ... IS ... SPARRRRRRRRRTAAAAAAAA!!!!" I will yell this with a vaguely Scottish accent, because I am badass like that.

In the little rating box you can see the movie is "R" rated and has graphic battle sequences and some sexuality and nudity - the basic three food groups of my life. Actually that describes my past weekend as well.

OK. Maybe not...

Yeah, I'm so bored.

I've got an idea: Entertain me. Ask yourself not what this site can do for you, ask yourself what you can do for this site. I'm saying you have carte blanche to be creative in the comments. Make up a true story, draw me a picture, knit me some Spartan armour...